When Sober Curious Strikes Past Dry January

In the beginning of 2025, the previous US Surgeon Basic issued an advisory on the hyperlink between alcohol consumption and cancer risk. Whereas it is a sobering name to motion, there isn’t a denying that sober curiosity has elevated lately. From Dry January to extra manufacturers creating alcohol-free drinks to the rise of mainstream mocktails, now greater than ever even informal drinkers have gotten sober curious and analyzing their relationship with alcohol.

Final yr in Episode 146 of the FBG Podcast, Sobriety Coach, and Founding father of Sober Wild, Krysty Krywko, Ed.D, joined our EIC Alison for an interview on sobriety. As we speak we’re persevering with this dialog with Krysty. Dry January has handed however definitely not the questions on what we will do if we’re desirous about a sober (fully alcohol free), or damp (a discount in alcohol consumption), life. 

Tam: Ought to we method ingesting as all or nothing, particularly if we’re sober curious?

Krysty: I believe it’s a really private choice, however when you’re any sort of an everyday drinker (which means three or 4 nights every week “simply to unwind”) then alcohol is impacting the best way you are feeling – mentally, emotionally, and bodily – your physique simply doesn’t know there’s one other approach. For those who’re not ingesting throughout the week, however then ingesting a few bottles of wine over the weekend, you by no means actually get the possibility to see how your physique and thoughts reacts to no alcohol. Anna Lembke, in her guide, Dopamine Nation: Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence, talks about how “abstaining from our drug of selection for not less than 4 weeks provides clarifying behaviors. Perception that merely shouldn’t be attainable whereas we proceed to make use of.” In different phrases, you haven’t any thought how shitty you actually really feel whenever you’re utilizing a substance that’s making you are feeling shitty. It normally takes a couple of weeks in your physique to regulate to the truth that you’re not consuming a poisonous substance.

Tam: Are there issues/finest practices to go from Dry January to extra of a Damp February and past? 

Krysty: So, I don’t actually know the reply to that query, it actually will depend on what your motivation was for Dry January. Was the plan to only see when you might make it with out ingesting for 30 days? Or have been you on the lookout for actual well being advantages? Or did you understand that your ingesting has elevated over the previous few years and you understand you wanted to take a break?

Moderation, which is basically what Damp February is all about, doesn’t work for lots of people. For those who spend a number of time bargaining with your self at any time when alcohol is concerned, which ends up in a number of “guidelines” round your ingesting, you would possibly need to take a step again.

You may not even pay attention to these guidelines. They’ve simply turn into a part of your internal chatter. That chatter would possibly sound like this:
I’m not going to drink on my own.
No ingesting earlier than 5:00 p.m.
No laborious alcohol throughout the week
I’m solely going to drink white wine (or beer, or vodka, and so forth.)
I can’t have greater than two drinks on every week evening.
I can’t drink greater than two nights in a row. 

The top days of my ingesting have been crammed with elaborate and arcane guidelines that have been consistently shifting as I broke one after one other. I used to be letting myself down every day, and that sort of self-disappointment was like a continuing stream of micro-cuts to my soul.

Take a second and take into consideration why you’re placing so many guidelines round your ingesting. You would possibly simply resolve that it’s not value it.

Tam: If somebody is studying this considering “I shouldn’t have an issue with my alcohol consumption however need to take a extra aware method to what I eat/drink,” what questions ought to be explored when desirous about alcohol consumption? 

Krysty: One of many first issues we have to do is transfer away from the language round ingesting and the idea that there are “drawback drinkers” after which everybody else. This results in disgrace, stigma, and judgement.

A way more helpful, and lifelike, mannequin to make use of relating to speaking about alcohol is the thought of ingesting occurring on a spectrum. That’s the place the thought of “grey space drinker” emerged from, which encompasses everybody from the every-now-and-then drinker to those that are bodily hooked on alcohol. The great thing about this mannequin is that you simply don’t have to hit any form of a all-time low earlier than you may discover your relationship with alcohol, you get to resolve at any level on the spectrum what’s best for you.

For those who’re able to get sincere with the position alcohol performs in your life, I might recommend sitting down with a pen and paper and answering the next questions. Get interested by your self, and take the time to reply actually. Don’t cloud your responses with disgrace, or judgement, or what your bestie goes to assume. That is about you and the one life that you’ve got, and whether or not or not you desire a poisonous substance to play a task within the creation of that life. 

Is alcohol nonetheless working for me?
How is alcohol making me really feel?
What areas of my life has alcohol taken over?
Does ingesting align with the particular person I’m now?
What would “future you” inform “current you” on this state of affairs?

Tam: What if our associates have gone again to ingesting after Dry January, however we try to proceed. Do you have got solutions/suggestions for the way to make this a part of my life-style with my ingesting associates? 

Krysty: You would possibly want to seek out new associates – haha. However, significantly, if your mates really respect and assist you within the selections you make in your life, then it shouldn’t be an issue. However, in the event that they’re frequently making an attempt to push you to begin ingesting once more, whining that you simply’re not enjoyable anymore, or that one shot of tequila gained’t do any hurt, then you definately would possibly have to rethink who you’re spending time with. You’ll want to work out for your self what you need to do with the time that you’ve got, and the individuals you spend it with. 

Moreover, in case your pal group is closely immersed in ingesting tradition – which means most social actions revolve round alcohol – then you definately would possibly want to seek out some new peeps that love to do various things.

Tam: Any favourite “drink” hacks to exchange that Friday evening cocktail? 

Krysty: I’m probably the most primary sober particular person round – and I’m pleased with ingesting a seltzer on my sofa to unwind after a busy week. However, I do know that folks have completely different wants, and I get that within the early days of going alcohol-free you may want one thing somewhat extra thrilling. Fortunately, the alcohol-free market is on fireplace! There are such a lot of merchandise in the marketplace – assume flavored seltzers, glowing teas, alcohol-free beers, wines, and spirits, kombuchas – I actually might go on and on. I’m frequently impressed on the locations the place I discover alcohol-free drinks – Goal, Dealer Joe’s, Complete Meals, common grocery shops, and native alcohol-free bottle retailers are beginning to provide such all kinds. My solely warning is be intentional when utilizing alcohol-free merchandise, particularly issues like alcohol-free wine or beer. For those who’re downing a bottle of alcohol-free wine most nights of the week, it’s sort of like ripping off one bandage and placing on one other, and also you would possibly need to discover why you’re caught in the identical behaviors. 

Did you do Dry January this yr and preserve a dry or damp February? What’s your sober curious hack? ~ Tam